So, this is starting to get really hard. I'm exhausted beyond words & I can't seem to catch a break anymore. Look, I'm 15 and I have a baby. I'm trying, I'm really trying as hard as i possibly can, it just doesn't seem to be enough. Don't get me wrong, I love Michaela, I really do; more then anything. But I don't know how long I can go on like this... its painful to even watch myself type that; but I can't say it to anyone or their going to think that I'm a bad mother.. maybe I am, am I? I really think this would have been so much easier if I had Jonathan with me, it just breaks my heart more knowing that if I didn't screw things up with him then he would be here to enjoy his daughter & help me. I try, I really do... but at this point I'm not sure if trying is good enough. But anyway, I'm going to go on until the end, the only thing that could make me give my daughter up is death.. so baby girl we'll be stuck together forever (:
- i love you Michaela Lynn McGrath <3
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